Family Reconstruction 家庭重組治療

What is family reconstruction?

何謂家庭重組治療 ？

· Family reconstruction is one of the power tools used to reconnect us in new ways back to our own families.

家庭重組治療被視為其中一種有能力修復家庭倫理關係的方法 。

· It can help change a family with a dysfunctional system by providing a new way to re-examine ourselves and our parents allowing us to see the present and future with new perspectives. This will open us up to greater possibilities, providing more choices and freedom, making us to become more responsible as a result.

它通過給予家庭成員們重新可以為失效的家庭關係帶來革命

What are the characteristics of healthy family?

健康家庭該有什麼特徵 ?

Healthy families will exhibit the following important traits:

健康家庭的重要特性 ：

·  They accepts each other as equal in value

家庭成員們公平，平等地接受對方 。

·  They interacts with important qualities like trust, honesty and openness

家庭成員們的聯繫建立在信任、誠實、開通的平台 。

·  They not only have fun and laughter together, they are able to shoulder and swallow bitterness together as well

家庭成員在有福同享的同時更會同舟共濟 ， 有難同當 。

·  They will find ways to have intimacy with each other

家庭成員共同築起親密感 。

·  They can work out their differences and resolves it

包容彼此的不同 ， 解決不同所帶來的隔閡 。

·  They encourage each other to take risks and grows from disappointments and failures

家庭成員互相鼓勵以面對各種風險 ， 并從失敗和失望中成長 。

·  They exhibit shared responsibilities for the sake of each other

為了彼此，他們展現責任感 。

·  They construct a family belief system – the value of the family

家庭成員擁有并組建家庭信仰 。

·  They demonstrate care and concern for each other, i.e. play their role, show concern and is supportive to each other

他們展示對彼此的愛與關懷 。 比如說 ， 以關心和支持的態度從對方的角度出發 。

·  They need to be congruent to each other, especially in their communication

家庭成員們是一致的 ， 特別是在溝通的方式 。

What are the impacts from the family of origin?

传统家庭的影响

·  Family rules 家庭规则

·  Family beliefs 家庭信仰

·  Family member’s resources 家庭资源

·  Family member’s bad influence 家庭负面影响

·  Family member’s positive influences 家庭正面影响

·  Family member’s energy 家庭力量

·  Family member’s appreciation 家庭欣赏

·  Family member’s communication 家庭沟通

·  Family member’s coping 家庭应付能力

The improvements when the impact of the family of origin has been dealt with:

理解传统家庭影响所带来的改进 ：

·  To understand the family dynamics 明白家庭的动力所在

·  To recognize the family as a core 承认家庭为重心

·  Must set a healthy boundary 为家庭划清健康的分界线

·  Must have trust and confidence among the family members 增进家庭成员们之间的信心与信任

·  Self-esteem has been raised 提升本身的自尊

·  The person is now taking responsibility for his/her inner experience and his/her behaviour该成员会为他的内在经验及行为更为关心

·  The person is more congruent and more in charge of himself or herself 该成员会更为一致并约束自己

·  There must be recognition of each other 彼此承认对方的存在和贡献

·  There must be acceptance of each other 彼此更加接受与容忍

·  Family members must provide support to each other 家庭成员懂得时刻支持对方必要时伸出橄榄枝

·  Must formed a good boundary amongst the family members 成员间有着良好的分界线

·  Within the family, they must be congruent to each other 家庭成员必须有一致的沟通

·  They must also demonstrate transparency and trust 家庭成员必须有固定的透明度和信任

Forgiveness 寬恕

What is forgiveness?

什麼是寬恕?

·  Forgiveness = Letting go宽恕是释放

·  Forgiveness is an internal process宽恕是内部的过程

·  Forgiveness is a feeling of wellness, freedom and acceptance宽恕是良好，自由和接纳的心态

·  Forgiveness is letting go of the intense emotional attachment to the past incidents宽恕是释放过往的沉重心情

§  Without forgiveness there is no way to reconstruct the family宽恕是没有宽恕，就没有家庭的重组

§  Especially for Chinese family, requires a lot of patience and tolerance and acceptance and understanding (the true nature in regards to gender bias view in the family).

基于重男轻女的华裔家庭里，成员们更要有耐心，宽容，理解和接纳的心态。

·  Forgiveness is taking back your power宽恕是取回自己的力量

·  Forgiveness is moving on宽恕是重新出发

·  Forgiveness is for you 宽恕是为你自己

·  Forgiveness is accepting宽恕是重新接纳

·  Forgiveness can improve your mental and physical health宽恕可以让您的身心健康

·  Forgiveness can help a person to grow better宽恕可以让你活得更自在

·  Forgiveness can prevent self-punishment宽恕可以避免自我惩罚

·  Forgiveness helps to develop a more healthy, physically and mentally宽恕可以促进身心健康

·  Forgiveness helps us to be more congruent宽恕可以让我们更步伐一致

·  Forgiveness can help you to achieve self-actualization 宽恕可以达到自我反省的程度

·  Forgiveness brings relief to one’s own internal struggle 宽恕可以释放我们的自我挣扎

·  Forgiveness creates just a healthy lifestyle 宽恕可以让我们获得悠闲健康

·  Forgiveness can bring peace within oneself, peace among and peace between 宽恕可以带来自我安心

·  Forgiveness helps one to appreciate life to a fuller extent 宽恕可以让我们领悟人生

 What is the forgiveness process?

原谅的步骤是什么？

·  Unload your emotional baggage like anger, shame, guilt and fear and stop taking all the blame for everything that ever happened to you.

·  释放自己的情绪包裹，不埋怨，不再责怪周围所发生的事情。

·  Recognize that, you did survive, that you developed some personal strength and compassion as a result.

·  要知道自己生存的同时，也造就了自己的优点缺点。

·  Appreciate yourself and live in here and now

·  爱惜自己，活在当下。

The tools for reconstruction of a family

家庭重组的工具

·  Courage 勇气

·  Creative 有创造力

·  Risk-taking 有冒险精神

·  Tolerance 宽容

·  Patience 有耐心

·  Focus 集中

·  Calmness 冷静

·  Priority 优先

·  Follow your feelings (intuition), than to trust your intellect 跟着自己的情绪，多于信任自己的理解力

·  Cannot make any drastic decision when one is subjected to emotional turbulence, just simple one step at a time 别冲动做出决定

·  Give time for healing 给予时间自己自我治疗

·  Have good organization and planning skills 有好的组织与规划能力

·  Ability to accept changes 接受周围的变迁

·  Ability to accept losses 接受损失与亏损

·  Cannot be calculative 不要太计较

Life After Family Reconstruction

家庭重组的效果

·  To accept change is permanent 接受周遭的改变

·  Everything is more intact 周遭更机警

·  More secure and better boundaries 更安心

·  Family reconstruction helps the body, mind and emotion move beyond stress, survival and coping to a more positive way of expressing and experiencing life.

·  家庭重组让身心情绪毫无压力，更让自己更积极的面对生活

·  New perception to see old situations in a new framework, especially in relation to our “self” level. It is a way to regain and own our wholeness and we become more aware and accepting and lastly forgiveness and move on our new path happily.

·  以新的观念看待旧的事项，也一样看待自己。这将让自己更加自在，接受，放下，重新出发。

·  To allow the family members a second chance to grow, offering the other members the opportunity to change for the better

·  让家庭成员重新成长，改变自己，造就更美好的将来。