What is family reconstruction?
何謂家庭重組治療 ?
· Family reconstruction is one of the power tools used to
reconnect us in new ways back to our own families.
家庭重組治療被視為其中一種有能力修復家庭倫理關係的方法 。
· It
can help change a family with a dysfunctional system by providing a new way to
re-examine ourselves and our parents allowing us to see the present and future
with new perspectives. This will open us up to greater possibilities, providing
more choices and freedom, making us to become more responsible as a result.
它通過給予家庭成員們重新可以為失效的家庭關係帶來革命
What
are the characteristics of healthy family?
健康家庭該有什麼特徵 ?
Healthy
families will exhibit the following important traits:
健康家庭的重要特性 :
· They
accepts each other as equal in value
家庭成員們公平,平等地接受對方 。
· They
interacts with important qualities like trust, honesty and openness
家庭成員們的聯繫建立在信任、誠實、開通的平台 。
· They
not only have fun and laughter together, they are able to shoulder and swallow
bitterness together as well
家庭成員在有福同享的同時更會同舟共濟 , 有難同當 。
· They
will find ways to have intimacy with each other
家庭成員共同築起親密感 。
· They
can work out their differences and resolves it
包容彼此的不同 , 解決不同所帶來的隔閡 。
· They
encourage each other to take risks and grows from disappointments and failures
家庭成員互相鼓勵以面對各種風險 , 并從失敗和失望中成長 。
· They
exhibit shared responsibilities for the sake of each other
為了彼此,他們展現責任感 。
· They
construct a family belief system – the value of the family
家庭成員擁有并組建家庭信仰 。
· They
demonstrate care and concern for each other, i.e. play their role, show concern
and is supportive to each other
他們展示對彼此的愛與關懷 。 比如說 , 以關心和支持的態度從對方的角度出發 。
· They
need to be congruent to each other, especially in their communication
家庭成員們是一致的 , 特別是在溝通的方式 。
What
are the impacts from the family of origin?
传统家庭的影响
· Family
rules 家庭规则
· Family
beliefs 家庭信仰
· Family
member’s resources 家庭资源
· Family
member’s bad influence 家庭负面影响
· Family
member’s positive influences 家庭正面影响
· Family
member’s energy 家庭力量
· Family
member’s appreciation 家庭欣赏
· Family
member’s communication 家庭沟通
· Family
member’s coping 家庭应付能力
The
improvements when the impact of the family of origin has been dealt with:
理解传统家庭影响所带来的改进 :
· To
understand the family dynamics 明白家庭的动力所在
· To
recognize the family as a core 承认家庭为重心
· Must
set a healthy boundary 为家庭划清健康的分界线
· Must
have trust and confidence among the family members 增进家庭成员们之间的信心与信任
· Self-esteem
has been raised 提升本身的自尊
· The
person is now taking responsibility for his/her inner experience and his/her
behaviour该成员会为他的内在经验及行为更为关心
· The
person is more congruent and more in charge of himself or herself 该成员会更为一致并约束自己
· There
must be recognition of each other 彼此承认对方的存在和贡献
· There
must be acceptance of each other 彼此更加接受与容忍
· Family
members must provide support to each other 家庭成员懂得时刻支持对方必要时伸出橄榄枝
· Must
formed a good boundary amongst the family members 成员间有着良好的分界线
· Within
the family, they must be congruent to each other 家庭成员必须有一致的沟通
· They
must also demonstrate transparency and trust 家庭成员必须有固定的透明度和信任
Forgiveness
寬恕
What
is forgiveness?
什麼是寬恕?
· Forgiveness
= Letting go宽恕是释放
· Forgiveness
is an internal process宽恕是内部的过程
· Forgiveness
is a feeling of wellness, freedom and acceptance宽恕是良好,自由和接纳的心态
· Forgiveness
is letting go of the intense emotional attachment to the past incidents宽恕是释放过往的沉重心情
§ Without
forgiveness there is no way to reconstruct the family宽恕是没有宽恕,就没有家庭的重组
§ Especially
for Chinese family, requires a lot of patience and tolerance and acceptance and
understanding (the true nature in regards to gender bias view in the family).
基于重男轻女的华裔家庭里,成员们更要有耐心,宽容,理解和接纳的心态。
· Forgiveness
is taking back your power宽恕是取回自己的力量
· Forgiveness
is moving on宽恕是重新出发
· Forgiveness
is for you 宽恕是为你自己
· Forgiveness
is accepting宽恕是重新接纳
· Forgiveness
can improve your mental and physical health宽恕可以让您的身心健康
· Forgiveness
can help a person to grow better宽恕可以让你活得更自在
· Forgiveness
can prevent self-punishment宽恕可以避免自我惩罚
· Forgiveness
helps to develop a more healthy, physically and mentally宽恕可以促进身心健康
· Forgiveness
helps us to be more congruent宽恕可以让我们更步伐一致
· Forgiveness
can help you to achieve self-actualization 宽恕可以达到自我反省的程度
· Forgiveness
brings relief to one’s own internal struggle 宽恕可以释放我们的自我挣扎
· Forgiveness
creates just a healthy lifestyle 宽恕可以让我们获得悠闲健康
· Forgiveness
can bring peace within oneself, peace among and peace between 宽恕可以带来自我安心
· Forgiveness
helps one to appreciate life to a fuller extent 宽恕可以让我们领悟人生
What
is the forgiveness process?
原谅的步骤是什么?
· Unload
your emotional baggage like anger, shame, guilt and fear and stop taking all
the blame for everything that ever happened to you.
· 释放自己的情绪包裹,不埋怨,不再责怪周围所发生的事情。
· Recognize
that, you did survive, that you developed some personal strength and compassion
as a result.
· 要知道自己生存的同时,也造就了自己的优点缺点。
· Appreciate
yourself and live in here and now
· 爱惜自己,活在当下。
The
tools for reconstruction of a family
家庭重组的工具
· Courage
勇气
· Creative
有创造力
· Risk-taking
有冒险精神
· Tolerance
宽容
· Patience
有耐心
· Focus
集中
· Calmness
冷静
· Priority
优先
· Follow
your feelings (intuition), than to trust your intellect 跟着自己的情绪,多于信任自己的理解力
· Cannot
make any drastic decision when one is subjected to emotional turbulence, just
simple one step at a time 别冲动做出决定
· Give
time for healing 给予时间自己自我治疗
· Have
good organization and planning skills 有好的组织与规划能力
· Ability
to accept changes 接受周围的变迁
· Ability
to accept losses 接受损失与亏损
· Cannot
be calculative 不要太计较
Life
After Family Reconstruction
家庭重组的效果
· To
accept change is permanent 接受周遭的改变
· Everything
is more intact 周遭更机警
· More
secure and better boundaries 更安心
· Family
reconstruction helps the body, mind and emotion move beyond stress, survival
and coping to a more positive way of expressing and experiencing life.
· 家庭重组让身心情绪毫无压力,更让自己更积极的面对生活
· New
perception to see old situations in a new framework, especially in relation to
our “self” level. It is a way to regain and own our wholeness and we become
more aware and accepting and lastly forgiveness and move on our new path
happily.
· 以新的观念看待旧的事项,也一样看待自己。这将让自己更加自在,接受,放下,重新出发。
· To
allow the family members a second chance to grow, offering the other members
the opportunity to change for the better